So I Want One Too|
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|Wednesday, November 24th, 2004|
So I was watching Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind tonight and I realized that love and relationships and even friendship isn't about impressing people or convenience or nature -- it's about making a connection with someone. And I realized it has been ages since I made a real connection with someone new. The last person I can think of was ridiculously ironic and before that, it was a guy I ended up dating for close to a year.
It has to be so random, so unexpected, or at least it has in the past, for me. Clubs, parties, getting drunk, hooking up, shipping out, running around ...
If you're not making a connection, what's the point?
|Monday, November 15th, 2004|
I took note of a phenomenon I've been witnessing for some time now yesterday at work. Attractive people tend to have attractive friends. I have seen 15-20 weddings in the last few months and it is generally an excellent indicator of the attractiveness of the wedding party and their friends how well the bride and groom look. Last night, every one of the bridesmaids was thin and pretty, just like the bride herself. Each of the men was trim and nice-looking. Are you not allowed to associate with people if they are of a different attractiveness level than you? Am I of the same level of attractiveness as my own friends? I do not know.
I feel that I should be more worried about this phenomenon than I am but it seems a normal thing. But what merit, really, is there in being attractive? I do not know that either. Or maybe weddings just depress me.
|Friday, July 23rd, 2004|
What do you suppose the verb "cunting" should mean?
|Monday, July 12th, 2004|
I have this odd compulsion to make an entry today.
I have been stopped for a while now, though, because the heading on this paragraph says "Event." If you don't have a livejournal of your own, that won't make sense to you but no bother. In any case, I have no "event" to speak of. I am sitting here, waiting for something to happen or something awesome to occur to me to do. I have been downloading from SoulSeek
all day. My music collection is becoming impressive but it affords me less entertainment than I might like. I am here because I have been banning "bitches" that don't "share" and was wondering if someone got mad and resourceful if he or she could track me down and kill me. The answer is pretty much yes.
The summer has been moving along quite nicely. I would say I don't want it to end but I am quite looking forward to my friends coming back into town. The smattering of people I know in town isn't enough to satisfy my bludgeoning need for human company.
I must say, though, that I am content. Surely it would be worse to be at home without transportation, listening to my parents argue and watching my brother run around in his graduated state, ignoring me while I sulk in front of the television. So, yes. New Orleans, I love you.
|Tuesday, May 18th, 2004|
|so according to my profile it's been 38 weeks
that's too long.
here's an update, a summary of sophomore year:
got to school. instantly got together with josh. took spanish, latin american studies and orgo. did all kinds of stuff, like hanging out with josh. played some beer pong. got pretty good grades.
second semester. took more orgo, more spanish and more latin american studies classes. did lots of other stuff. hung out with friends more. broke up with josh. moved into apartment for the summer.
so far this summer? sitting around bored. looking for a job. spending several hours on the computer, doing stupid shit like updating a dead journal.
hope that was useful. it certainly seems i did stuff this last year, only i can hardly remember any of it...
|Monday, August 25th, 2003|
So everything pretty much worked out. Yay.
|Sunday, August 24th, 2003|
Holy god, we're finally back. It's been such a long time coming!
It's very odd and completely gratifying to read my friends' away messages and they say something along the lines of "we're back in school." Fabulous. Could home be any less appealing right now? Chah.
The road trip was entertaining if long. We actually made it in three days instead of the planned "four, possibly five." We drove like bats out of hell, so to speak. Here's a quick synopsis:
Day One -- lots of traffic because 15 was closed going to Vegas so everybody and their mom had to take 40. But at Ludlow the lane closed into one (for no apparent reason) so we had to sit in horrid traffic for like two and a half hours. So once we got through that we were happy. But to get down to 10 (which we took), we had to go down 95 which is this windy mountain road. We drove through the thickest storm I think I've probably ever seen outside of New Orleans. Just out luck the tropical storm of west coast's history and we had to drive right through it. Frightening as shit, I tell you. I swear I swear
a lightning bolt came down twenty feet from us. Then we drove right on to Blythe and spent night #1
in this horrid fleabag hotel. We survived, though, despite the sulfur pipes. (ew)
Day Two -- We left Blythe and traveled through not only all of Arizona but New Mexico and part of Texas. We're brilliant. But before we got to our second destination, we had to see "The Thing?" It was... a thing. Spent the night in Fort Stockton and got on with it.
Day Three -- Woke up and drove drove drove drove drove. All the way to New Orleans. We got in about midnight. And stayed up talking to my friends until maybe four in the morning.
These last few days have been a whirlwind of unpacking, getting stuff from storage, running around, hanging out with old friends and everything in-between. Got me some Mona's last night. Woot!
Well this thing is long enough already. But can I just say: right now, I'm happy.
|Sunday, August 17th, 2003|
Stupid thing just ate my post.
I'm leaving in two days. I'm saying goodbye to everyone. Last Slurpee with Gina. Last obscure movie with Phil. Last sitting around watching movies and hanging out with Chris and Josh with Kelly (okay, that only happened two other times this summer but whatever...) And I haven't hardly seen Liezl at all. Twice this whole damn time? ...Ah, well.
I packed up the majority of the stuff in my room today. All I've got left is to do my laundry tomorrow and throw those clothes in a duffel bag or something and then Jerm and I head on out of here. It's going to be quite an adventure. I can feel it. Last time I was just along for the ride. This time, I'm the captain. I like the sound of that... Captain Amber.
|Friday, August 15th, 2003|
I'm quitting MOC. At least for the weekend. I have GOT to wean myself off that shit. It's absolutely ridiculous.
|Saturday, August 2nd, 2003|
I suppose I should update for the four people that read this (and the one random dude that wants to hang out even though he lives 80 hours away from me).
So... let's see. I'm still working, which sucks, but I'm almost done so it's alllll good. And they're giving me hell of hours for my last two weeks so I'm happy about that. Go me.
I had this "party" where I invited a bunch of people from the internet I don't know. But it was fun and the only thing that got broken/stolen was this cup and it got wrecked by a dude I know "irl" (in real life haha).
I'm making preparations for my road trip and eventual return to school. So my bro kind of retracted his "I'm not going" statement to read "I'm only going if I can get it off work" which I suppose is reasonable. They told him not to request it until a week before, though, so I guess I won't know if I'm taking the trip alone or not until next week or possibly a little bit after (wtf?)
I finished reading A Misfit's Manifesto: A Spiritual Journey of a Rock & Roll Heart
by Donna Gaines which is like 500 pages and took me FOREVER but it's finally finished and I can add it to my list of books I've read. I thought it was going to have all this neato stuff that I could learn about bands but it totally didn't. She talks about the Slugs and Johnny Thunders the whole time, two names I'd never heard before but I'll download some stuff or something and see if they rock my world as much as they did hers.
In any case, I'm reading Poisonwood Bible
by Barbara Kingsolver right now. It's about time I got around to it. I've read her first three books twice apiece. This one has nothing to do with those characters, though.... oh well.
I can't think of an entertaining or witty way to end this.
|Friday, July 11th, 2003|
I have no life. Someone hang out with me, pleeeeeeease.
|Sunday, July 6th, 2003|
I'm back from San Diego and Bakersfield. It was a mostly uneventful trip.
|Tuesday, July 1st, 2003|
I'm going to San Diego tomorrow. Stephanie isn't going to be there :( But I'm going to see my Daddy & Co. and Uncle & Co. so that should be fun.
|Monday, June 30th, 2003|
My family leaves me feeling so discontent. Every single time I go out with my mother and brother I end up feeling crappy and irritated by the end of the meal. I can't even describe it... or explain why they leaving me feeling this way. I feel so irritable. And I want to go back home.
Sometimes time appears to pass like you float away from things on the ocean. If you've never seen the ocean... if you've never been on a big boat you can't understand this but it's like when you pass things and then they just slowly slowly disappear. This is how time is seeming to pass from me. I'll recall something that happened and only if I stop and really think about it will I realize that it's been almost a year or two months. Like going to the back of the boat and you can't see the lights from the last big city you were at.
|Thursday, June 26th, 2003|
So I was not and then I was and now I am not again going to North Carolina.
But I am still planning on going to San Diego. And Steph, if I can't stay with you... I suppose I could stay with my uncle. ...Maybe. He lives about an hour away from actual San Diego. No pressure or anything, doll.
There's nothing new besides the books I checked out:
Up the Down Staircase
Fathers and Sons
Beowulf (cassette for half-hour drive to piano lessons Mondays)
Also: when I was at the library, I saw this dude that used to go to my school. I can't remember the name of people I sat next to all year but I knew this guy's name was Alex and I never spoke a single word to him the whole damn time. In any case, he thought the books I was checking out were cool and we talked about Vonnegut a little. He asked me my name and all. We would have made good friends. I should have slipped that hello in sometime while we were at school.
|Saturday, June 21st, 2003|
I don't know if it is physically possible for me to be more bored.
|Tuesday, June 17th, 2003|
You know, if it
come back, at this point, I don't think I'd be able to handle it.
I recently finished reading Watership Down
and have now begun The House of the Spirits
by Isabel Allende. It is typical Latin-American magic realism but that's okay. I can handle some of that right about now.
About ten minutes ago, I signed up for an adult piano class. Hopefully I'll get on my way to learning the piano. I'm slightly proud of myself for taking the initiative, in any case. At this point, I've spent 70 dollars of my mother's money. I have to at least drive out there and give it my best shot.
|Monday, June 16th, 2003|
|Thursday, June 12th, 2003|
I think I'm going to road trip to Exotic World
. I think if I can't get anyone to come with me I'm going to go by myself. Maybe have ONE freaking adventure during this goddamned summer. Okay. Hopefully cross-country with my brother will be entertaining and maybe have a little bit of adventure.
I'm getting cavities filled today. Whoopee. I can't wait. (Sarcasm)
Kelly and Phil get home sometime this weekend. Yaaaay! I've missed them so.
I have 4th of July off so I probably get to see Stephanie. Yay! And maybe Alex. ...yay (less enthusiasm -- it's Alex)
Work is still work. Boring. But I get a lot of reading done. Books I've read since my last post or so: Ellen Foster
by somebody in Oprah's book club, Anthem
by Ayn Rand, A Child Called "It"
by David Peltzer and I'm currently on Watership Down
by somebody Adams.
I finally made it to the Salv Army and I picked up some really cool stuff (last weekend -- maybe I'll go again this weekend -- maybe I'll drive my ass out to the expensive towns and get some goood shit).
Righty-o. That's it.